Something that has been on my mind many times before upon learning, has popped into my head again, and I'm feeling overwhelmed by the thought, and feel compelled to blog about it to clear my head. I hope I do the topic justice without over stepping any lines.
I grew up in a family with three older sisters and no brothers. (The baby boy, the pride and joy) I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but just to be safe I'll say it now to set-up my post for today. Because of the family dynamic, I will always be out numbered, and I will never be in a position of authority within the family. Growing up like this, I always wanted brothers to even things out. So, I would ask my mom, "Please have one more baby! Twin boys!" As you can see from the statement, I had no concept of pregnancy since I thought a singular baby could be more than one actually, but hey, I was young cut me some slack. But hears where the story gets interesting.
It was last year, in the earlier half of Christmas break. All six of us, my parents, sisters, and I, were in the living room enjoying each others company since we were all under the same roof again for break. Minus my mom, we're all night owls in my family, so it was late, but she powered through and stayed up and we all just talked and I just kind of sat back and enjoyed seeing the conversation topic bounce around the way it always does with us, until during one topic, some startling information was revealed to me through just regular conversation. The topic was pregnancy and miscarriages. I found out that before my mom had my third sister and I, she was pregnant with twins, but unfortunately/sadly had suffered a miscarriage. SO MANY THOUGHTS WERE GOING THROUGH MY HEAD.
First, all the times I had asked my mom for twins, and she actually almost did. But it would have been before me, and most likely that would have meant NO ME. That's when the second thought hit me. Had she had these twins my sister and I would most likely would not have happened. And then finally, again, all the times I had asked for twins. She would just laugh at my misconception about pregnancy, and I can't help but think now how it must have reminded her of this unfortunate moment. And I now kind of feel bad. I mean yeah, I had no way of knowing, and I was doing it with malice, but still. Yet there is a silver lining.
My sister and I, though two years apart, were born a day after each other. She was born the second of our birth month and I was born the third. And on top of that, growing up we looked exactly alike. People always thought we were twins. It even turns out that those who knew about what happened to my mom would tell her that my sister and I was God's way of giving her the twins she never had but was supposed to. And in a way, I agree.
As I have thought on this new found news, I have two hopes and one thought on my mind. The first hope is that my sisters and I all make it to heaven to see these twins that unfortunately didn't make it. And to build on it, I hope these twins are boys. It seems only fair, right?! BUT, my one thought is that these twins are going to turn out to be two more lovely sisters to add to my other 3, and if that's the case, that'll be more than alright with me, I know. I mean, hey, it'll be in heaven, by then, being the only boy won't even mean anything to me anymore.
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