These last two weeks or so have been really interesting for me. I wish to tell of them and the impact they have had in order to find out if someone can relate to me, and or inspire people to maybe see from a perspective they haven't thought of before.
I was talking to a good friend of mine who always seems to be talking to a new girl everyday, in a completely platonic way I will note.
So I said to him, "Since you're just swimming in a surplus of women, how about you send one my way?!"
He immediately responded, "You're right! What kind of woman are you into?"
So I gave him some personality traits and he went to work. A few days later, we crossed paths, and my friend told me to give him my phone; he had a girl’s number he wished to give me. He proceeded to explain that she expected a call from me that day or the next because we were going out that Saturday, which coincidentally was Valentine’s Day.
I was taken aback at first and wasn't quite sure how to approach this, but I said, sure why not. I called her and we arranged plans for the evening out. Finally, the day was upon us. I put on a combination of casual dress clothes, and then added my nice suit jacket for an element of sophistication. I don't have a car out here at school since I'm far from home, so she drove. Straight out the gate, I could tell there was something infectious about this young woman. She was more than just looks. I mean certainly she was physically attractive, but there was a personality to her that I had yet to experience on any other romantic outing. She was someone who could keep up with my extroverted self, and that was nice. I usually felt like I was out with a brick wall on past dates.
We had arrived at the Italian restaurant that she wanted to go to, and unfortunately, given that it was Valentine’s Day, there was quite the wait, and we had no reservation. So we got back into the car and went to this hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant. The atmosphere was surprisingly perfect, not overwhelming or stifling. The conversation was natural, fluid, and continuous throughout our time together. Eventually, we finished our meals, and since we both still had some time to kill before our other plans, we went back to my place to sip some Ale 8 and talk.
It was lovely. She sat on one couch, I sat on the other to face her, and we ended up talking for two more hours. I had never had such a great Valentine’s Day or night one-on-one with a woman. Finally, the night ended and we went our separate ways. The next day, I called her to ask her out again, and figured I could take her to the Italian restaurant where she had originally wanted to eat. I called her and got her voicemail and left a message. This is when we start to get into the core point of this blog post.
During and following the night out I couldn't help but think, "This woman is amazing! And she DESERVES an amazing man!" So following that evening, I decided to start praying again; I've prayed at least one rosary every day since that night, and I'm doing better at attending mass regularly. Also, this woman pulled my emotional strings to the point that one night while in the middle of my rosary, I broke down and cried for half an hour, and I AM NOT A CRYER (but I don't think there is anything wrong with that if you are…) I've examined my moral compass and have sought to improve its imperfections. I've cleaned my apartment and have kept it consistently clean. Also, I have started to keep in much better touch with my sisters. All of the things she has inspired me to do… Because it’s not just, "Is this person the one I'm looking for?" It’s also, "Am I the person, the person I'm looking for is looking for?" I know that sounds confusing and is a bit of a mouthful, but think about it.
That's why I made these changes. They weren't changes for the sake of pretending to be something I’m not for somebody else; they were changes that any person I could potentially be with would be happy to see me make.
So as these two weeks have gone by, I have stopped feeling scared or anxious about how things will play out, and have just remained positive, and it's been great. In fact today, that young woman and I talked, and we established that we are at different points in our lives and are looking for different things right now. I felt great afterwards because I was no longer wondering where we were aligned, and now I had a definite answer.
Did I get the desired result? Yes and no. See, I've come to learn that we have this idea that we achieve our happiness through others, and when they fall short of our expectations, that’s what leads to us feeling dissatisfied. Yet, that’s because NO ONE can dictate our happiness except for OURSELVES, and that's what I was doing wrong! I was operating under this belief that if I ended up with her, I'd become happy. In reality, it's only once we are happy with ourselves, that we will then attract the positive outcome of being with someone who we can GIVE our happiness too, NOT GET it from. Would I have liked it to be her so she could have been the one to get to experience the changes she inspired in me? Sure. But like I said, these are positive changes for me to share with whomever I end up, they aren't just limited to one person.
The ultimate point I'm trying to make is everyone comes into our life for a reason. No matter how brief their presence is they serve a purpose. I can now clearly see what hers was. It was to get me back on the straight and narrow, and to walk it with the most positive of attitudes. And now when I think of her, even if just for a moment, I will still always have a great memory of that night we shared, and how kind it was of her to share it with me, as well as all of the positive changes she has inspired to make. So, in conclusion, think of the people in your own lives, the ones still there, the ones who have come and gone, and those still to come; those with both positive and negative impacts. Think about how they served some purpose in your life to get you to where you are now.
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