Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013. I wake up around 8:20 AM to what sounds like laughter in the room next door. I figure it's my dorm neighbors cracking jokes as they get ready and prepare to head off to their 9 o'clocks. My class isn't until Noon, so I shrug it off and go back to sleep. 11 AM rolls around and I sit up in my loft bed, feet hang off the side, still groggy.
My best friend, and roommate at the time, looks at me and says, "Hey, somebody killed themselves this morning."
Instantly it all clicked in my head. The noise I was hearing next door earlier that morning was not laughter, but crying. Immediately what I knew what he was going to say next, but I was already preparing myself to not believe it.
He looks at me; solemnly he says, "Larry jumped from the sixth floor of Stuart [dormitory complex] this morning."
On Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013, in the early morning hours, Larry Cook took his own life. These words pierced through me; I was numb from that point on the rest of the day. Larry was not just a dorm neighbor, but he was friend. We watched sports together from time, played basketball occasionally, and he was the only person who could get me to go out on Thursday nights when I knew I should stay in and get a better nights rest than I usually did for my classes. I was so confused, as anyone would be after hearing news of a friends suicide. Your left with only questions; no answers. Plus, Larry was such a personable guy with a smile that could light up the darkest of rooms, so naturally it just didn't make any sense.
The following weeks were pretty rough. The incident had happened the day of classes resuming post Easter break. Getting back into the swing of things and buckling down for the home stretch of the year were not made any easier.
Even though I love to party and go out every weekend, I don't drink, never been me. Well after what happened with Larry, for the next three weekends, I did. I drank till I was drunk and numb of the pain. I disguised under the ruse that I was drinking to just have a good time with friends and to finally see what drinking was like, but I knew the real reason why. I was just to ashamed to admit it. Eventually though, I came to terms with what had occurred and realized what I was doing wasn't me. And even if I was hurt, that was no excuse to not continuing being who I am. It wasn't fair too me. So I decided to improve my life choices as a means to honor Larry. He was a very proactive person, and hearing and learning so much more about him in the aftermath of his death inspired me to be proactive as well. I stopped being a stagnant community member and signed on to do a nine week service trip to the Appalachian region of eastern Kentucky with my school.
It was an incredible experience. Not just something that I wanted to do, but something that I NEEDED to do. I learned so much about myself while on the trip. And also a lot more about the world around me and what the human will is capable of. I also saw the person I wanted to be; a person like Larry. But why do I tell you all of this? Here is why:
I feel too often, someone around dies (especially if they were young), and we say something like, "Life's too short and we need to live like everyday could be our last." Or something cliché like that.
But then, do we? NO. We go back to whatever B.S. we were doing and continue are stagnant daily routines. We've become so naturalized to idea of complacency, that even when we're inspired to improve, we get sucked back into not. So I tell you all this as a challenge. I CHALLENGE you to take what I've given you in this post and go out LIVE as if today truly was your last. Don't take this life you have for granted and waste it.
Also, I challenge you to show everyone life if worth living. There's two people in us all. The one our family, friends, acquaintances, and peers see and the one we are when we're alone. Because so, we really can have no idea who is really in love with life and who isn't. So like I previously stated, show EVERYONE life if worth living. Get off you butt and be PROACTIVE!
Let's help prevent anymore lives lost too soon!
My best friend, and roommate at the time, looks at me and says, "Hey, somebody killed themselves this morning."
Instantly it all clicked in my head. The noise I was hearing next door earlier that morning was not laughter, but crying. Immediately what I knew what he was going to say next, but I was already preparing myself to not believe it.
He looks at me; solemnly he says, "Larry jumped from the sixth floor of Stuart [dormitory complex] this morning."
On Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013, in the early morning hours, Larry Cook took his own life. These words pierced through me; I was numb from that point on the rest of the day. Larry was not just a dorm neighbor, but he was friend. We watched sports together from time, played basketball occasionally, and he was the only person who could get me to go out on Thursday nights when I knew I should stay in and get a better nights rest than I usually did for my classes. I was so confused, as anyone would be after hearing news of a friends suicide. Your left with only questions; no answers. Plus, Larry was such a personable guy with a smile that could light up the darkest of rooms, so naturally it just didn't make any sense.
The following weeks were pretty rough. The incident had happened the day of classes resuming post Easter break. Getting back into the swing of things and buckling down for the home stretch of the year were not made any easier.
Even though I love to party and go out every weekend, I don't drink, never been me. Well after what happened with Larry, for the next three weekends, I did. I drank till I was drunk and numb of the pain. I disguised under the ruse that I was drinking to just have a good time with friends and to finally see what drinking was like, but I knew the real reason why. I was just to ashamed to admit it. Eventually though, I came to terms with what had occurred and realized what I was doing wasn't me. And even if I was hurt, that was no excuse to not continuing being who I am. It wasn't fair too me. So I decided to improve my life choices as a means to honor Larry. He was a very proactive person, and hearing and learning so much more about him in the aftermath of his death inspired me to be proactive as well. I stopped being a stagnant community member and signed on to do a nine week service trip to the Appalachian region of eastern Kentucky with my school.
It was an incredible experience. Not just something that I wanted to do, but something that I NEEDED to do. I learned so much about myself while on the trip. And also a lot more about the world around me and what the human will is capable of. I also saw the person I wanted to be; a person like Larry. But why do I tell you all of this? Here is why:
I feel too often, someone around dies (especially if they were young), and we say something like, "Life's too short and we need to live like everyday could be our last." Or something cliché like that.
But then, do we? NO. We go back to whatever B.S. we were doing and continue are stagnant daily routines. We've become so naturalized to idea of complacency, that even when we're inspired to improve, we get sucked back into not. So I tell you all this as a challenge. I CHALLENGE you to take what I've given you in this post and go out LIVE as if today truly was your last. Don't take this life you have for granted and waste it.
Also, I challenge you to show everyone life if worth living. There's two people in us all. The one our family, friends, acquaintances, and peers see and the one we are when we're alone. Because so, we really can have no idea who is really in love with life and who isn't. So like I previously stated, show EVERYONE life if worth living. Get off you butt and be PROACTIVE!
Let's help prevent anymore lives lost too soon!
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