Hello everybody, Bow Tie Chris here, and it's time for my first actual blog post. So lets begin:
To really appreciate this blog topic, I first have to give you some slight backstory in order for you to understand and appreciate it. So, I went on this double date with this girl I like. But I could tell she didn't think it was a date when it came time to pay and she was surprised that I paid for her. That isn't something that's a surprise to you when you know it's a date, and I'm sure it wasn't that she's just a modern girl who doesn't believe in the old fashion tradition that the guy pays for her. But ultimately, it didn't seem like an issue because we still ended up spending most of the night together. My act of chivalry hadn't scared her off. But, I'll be honest, I was subtle about liking her even though I didn't just come right out and say. Everyone could tell how I felt including her, but eventually as the days went on and after speaking with her roommate, the conclusion had been reached that she wasn't interested in me like that. I'm used to rejection (we're best friends him and I) so I was content with not saying anything to her and just keeping our good friendship. I kind of saw our situation like Schrodinger's Cat: as long as I didn't say anything to her about how I really felt she couldn't like or reject me for it. I could assume the best and worst at the same time.
Well, about week after all of this, I was just reminiscing of my high school days and got to thinking about all the girls who used the "I really cherish our friendship" excuse as a reason not to date me instead of just straight up rejecting me, and so I posted this status on Facebook: "I hate those girls that when you tell them you like them they tell you they just like you as a really good friend. But right after they feed you that soft line of rejection they stop contributing to this so called "good friendship" they didn't want to possibly get destroyed by a relationship. The texts stop flowing, the hangouts stop happening, and when they see you they try to avoid you. It's all just bullshit." A couple of hours after posting this status, I receive word from my best friend that this girl I went on the date with thought it was about her. He had her this from her roommate who he is friends with.
This information actually made me very angry, because the status had nothing to do with her. Like I said, I NEVER told her how I felt, so she couldn't have qualified. There were two reasons I was so angry. First, she was mad at me for an issue she caused herself in her mind because of an assumption she made, and we all know what happens when you assume. Second, now because of this assumption she has made, I can't just let this blow over. I have actually speak with and open that box with the can in it that is our relationship (currently friendship still). Like I said, I was perfectly content with not saying anything and enjoying a friendship with her, but because of her assumption and little hissy fit, now we have to discuss my feelings for her.
As I previously stated, I hadn't been subtle in terms of my feelings for her, and since she did know I like her, she thought the status was about her because she knew I like her but also hadn't been able to talk/hang much with me and she thought I had attributed that to the fact the we both knew that she knew I like her. Well we talked and cleared the air in the sense that we established the status wasn't about her. The problem though is like I said, I had to tell how I felt, and now that I have, she honestly is living up to everything the status said.
How are you going to get so angry about something and be so adamant that you aren't like that, but the minute the time comes to put your money where your mouth is, you go and prove everything I said true. It's so hypocritical and frustrating. Especially when she also had the nerve to ask at one point during the conversation, "Do you actually cherish our friendship?" Because she felt that even if the status wasn't about her, I still sounded bitter. What kind of question is that, first of all, of course I cherish our friendship. Secondly, OF COURSE I'M BITTER! If I hadn't had cherished those friendships I had in high school that got ruined because I revealed my true feelings, I wouldn't be bitter. But I did cherish them, A LOT! So it saddened me that those girls would use friendship as an excuse but then stop being my friend. And now here she is doing the same thing when she insisted she wasn't that kind of girl. It's just all hypocritical and a bit of slap in the face to me for stepping up to the plate and trying to fix a problem I didn't even create. She did with her silly high schooler assumption.
Disclaimer: Yes I know guys do this stuff too, but being a male, I'm speaking from the male perspective. Naturally if you're a girl reading this, you can reverse the roles and still appreciate the message of this POST.
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